This post is is in partnership with StressHealth.org, an initiative of the Center for Youth Wellness. All opinions are my own.
When I was a kid, I was always stressed out. I was surrounded by other people’s problems, and I tended to internalize them. Whether there was something going on at home or on the playground, I took it all very personally.
I’ve since learned to recognize this habit and am constantly working on it. I see some of those same habits in my own kids and am always looking for ways to help them. Not only do I not want them to be stressed, but I don’t want them to internalize the stress and literally make themselves sick!
Luckily, we know a lot more about mental health and stress now than we did 20 years ago- and we talk about it more, too. It’s so important to acknowledge negative feelings and address them rather than just ignore them and hope they go away.
There is something called tolerable stress. Tolerable stress may be buildup of little things: starting a new school year, growing and getting used to a “new” body, and other things that we would categorize as minor but that mean a lot to a kid.
Then, there is toxic stress. This is prolonged, overwhelming stress from Adverse Childhood Experiences {ACEs}, defined as traumatic events in a child or adolescent’s life. Most Americans have at least one, and they can have lasting effects on health. These ACEs include things like abuse, neglect, parental divorce, a family member who is mentally ill or abusing substances, or witnessing violence in the home. Toxic stress from ACEs can cause the body to release a flood of stress hormones even when there’s no outside threat.
Children can actually suffer long-term health consequences like asthma, diabetes, and heart disease when they carry stress from adverse childhood experiences into later life. This toxic stress causes the body to release stress hormones even when there’s no outside threat. The good news is that even though these experiences increase the chances of chronic health problems, it doesn’t mean the child’s fate is sealed When adults care for children and offer support, kids feel secure – and that feeling of security is good for both their brains and their bodies.
If you think your children may be negatively affected by an adverse childhood experience, take the ACE Quiz to find out their ACE score. If you think your childhood is still undermining you somehow, take the ACE Quiz as well.
You can learn more about managing your child’s stress levels at the Stress Health website. I encourage you to look through it even if you don’t think your child is stressed out. They may be giving off signs that you haven’t picked up on yet, or they may encounter a situation like this in the future.
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