Alright, you guys- I need to vent. I’m freaking out.
I leave in 2 days for a week-long vacation, which sounds heavenly, right? It probably will be- I’ll have built-in babysitters {my in-laws}, I won’t have to spend my days “deep-cleaning” the house, &I will have Hubby home with me all day except for when he’s snowboarding- so, I will get to see him besides dinnertime & bedtime, which is a huge plus.
But the last couple of weeks, as the trip has been getting closer, I’ve been feeling a little panicky. I can’t quite pinpoint why- at first I thought it was because I’m having to leave my dog behind, and while that IS stressful for me &I still feel bad about it, I’ve accepted it as fact & I’m still freaking out.
I thought maybe it was the 12ish hour car ride each way, and while I am SO not looking forward to that {in general, let alone with Shane} that’s not it either. I was trying to fall asleep last night & I was thinking about what all I need to pack. I was thinking that it would suck if I forgot something & couldn’t go home to get it- and then I realized a BIG source of the panic is being away from home.
My home is my “safe place”. I have taken steps over the last few years to calm my social phobia & generalized anxiety to a degree that I can manage- I used to have panic attacks every time I drove somewhere & now they are few and far between, and usually they are triggered by something actually happening. A large part of what has helped me is knowing that if it gets bad, I can always go home- I can snuggle up with Shane or Bella, take a nap in my bed, whatever. But the thought of being 12 HOURS away from my safe place, staying somewhere I’ve never been, surrounded by people who would think there was something terribly wrong with me if I had to suddenly excuse myself for a bit to calm down, seriously makes me panic preemptively.
How ridiculous is that? I’m panicking, about panicking.
Rationally, I know my in-laws would understand if I had a panic attack out there. &I know they wouldn’t judge me for it. I am afraid that they would take it personally, though, even though I {again, rationally} know they have no reason to. I just haven’t ever spent NINE DAYS in the same place as my in-laws &I guess I’m just afraid they won’t like me as much after this.
Like I said, rationally I know I’ll be just fine.
But fear isn’t rational.
Help?!
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You’ll be fine
I was panicky too when we were taking a 5 hour plane flight with Zach. But everything turned out fine 
At least you’ll be in your car and not sitting right next to strangers 
I’ve found myself having similar thoughts in recent years. I think it must have something to do with our comfort zone shrinking as we get older and find ourselves spending more time at home. I usually relax when I finally reach my destination. I just need to train myself to not get so worked up before hand. One thing that works well for me is to focus on the things I do know and am comfortable with such as my significant other.
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I have a theory when I go someplace that I’m not quite comfortable in. Always have a way to escape. Even if its to drive around in your car, you can use it as a temporary safe place. Whenever I go far from home, I have to have a way out in case I am feeling depressed or anxious. Just make sure you have the car keys in your purse
You’ll do great! Oh, and remember they love you no matter what.